I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
