capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
