just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
