Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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