I cannot find my penis.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Randomize
