I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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