Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
