What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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