Who did Billy Mays play for?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
