trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
