you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize