The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Tell her she can't have a vagina
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
