she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Randomize
