The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
