Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
