Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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