If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
