Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Randomize
