office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
