He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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