I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
