Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
