Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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