Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
