You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
