then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
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