Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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