Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
