i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
