they need to just BURY HIM!
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
