so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
