Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
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