You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
