Hey man sorry I got all grabby
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
