Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Randomize
