dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize