He is an equal opportunity slut.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
