sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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