Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize