did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
