I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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