After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
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