i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
