Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
