Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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