Did you just see the Batmobile???
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
