i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
