I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
