Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
