the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Randomize
