I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
