covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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