so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize