Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
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