All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
