Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
