and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
