we should wear snuggies to the strip club
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
