Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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