So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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