I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize