what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Randomize
