I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize