420 ftw
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
