So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
