She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Randomize
