The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
